Mark Griffiths Revealed
Revealing Questions
- Q. How would you describe your life in only 8 words?
- A. From child prodigy to hasbeen without intervening career.
- Q. What is your motto or maxim?
- A. Whose turn is it to put the kettle on?
- Q. How would you describe perfect happiness?
- A. A loved one, a table, a bottle of red wine, a baguette. A game of Scrabble. And an album by the Pixies blaring out of the stereo at about 200dB.
- Q. What’s your greatest fear?
- A. Lying on my deathbed and thinking I didn't try hard enough. And dogs not on leads when I'm jogging in the park.
- Q. If you could be anywhere in the world right now, where would you choose to be?
- A. A diner in New York staring at a plate of French toast.
- Q. With whom in history do you most identify?
- A. A caveman rushing out of his cave to tell his mates that he's just invented fire only to find them all sitting around having a barbecue.
- Q. Which living person do you most admire?
- A. Tim Smith, the singer and main songwriter in the fantastic (and criminally little known) band called Cardiacs. He is my absolute hero.
- Q. What are your most overused words or phrases?
- A. Cardiacs, tea, dinosaurs, Doctor Who, muffins, wine, gin, tonic, diet.
- Q. What do you regret most?
- A. Not learning how to write novels earlier.
- Q. If you could acquire any talent, what would it be?
- A. Singing without making people run for cover and screaming.
- Q. What is your greatest achievement?
- A. Writing for Smith & Jones on BBC 1 when I was 18. All downhill since then!
- Q. What’s your greatest flaw?
- A. A facile talent for jokes.
- Q. What’s your best quality?
- A. A facile talent for jokes.
- Q. If you could be any person or thing, who or what would it be?
- A. A duck, because they can swim, fly and waddle (and that's two more than I can do presently).
- Q. What trait is most noticeable about you?
- A. See answers 13 and 14.
- Q. Who is your favorite fictional hero?
- A. Benjamin the donkey in "Animal Farm"
- Q. Who is your favorite fictional villain?
- A. The shark in "Jaws", although he's only doing what comes naturally.
- Q. If you could meet any historical character, who would it be and what would you say to him or her?
- A. Shakespeare. "Can I have some comps?"
- Q. What is your biggest pet peeve?
- A. Not being able to find the way out of Ikea.
- Q. What is your favorite occupation, when you’re not writing?
- A. Having very long lunches.
- Q. What’s your fantasy profession?
- A. Tapas Inspector.
- Q. What 3 personal qualities are most important to you?
- A. Sense of humour, intelligence, scepticism.
- Q. If you could eat only one thing for the rest of your days, what would it be?
- A. Pork pies from Hulsons The Bakers in Mold, North Wales.
- Q. What are your 5 favorite songs?
- A. "Big Ship" by Cardiacs, "Journey of the Sorcerer" by the Eagles, "No More Heroes" by the Stranglers, "Sunspots" by Julian Cope, "I am the Walrus" by the Beatles.
